Barrett Milner
Second Presbyterian Church
Sermons: June 21, 2009

"Are You Expecting?"

About this time just a year ago, I can recall people asking my wife, Carrie, each and every place that we would go, "Are you expecting?" In the grocery store, "Are you expecting…" at the movie theater, "Are you expecting…" or simply walking down the street, you could rest assured that the question would be asked. Let us be clear, while more often than not this question serves as a springboard into a gushy smorgasbord of excitement and baby talk, to ask this question of a perfect stranger—and of a young woman no less—can be a risky proposition! I mean, let’s be candid, to simply assume that a baby is the lone reason for a woman’s protruding stomach is mighty dangerous and ill-advised, if you ask me!

Now, seeing as it is Father’s Day, and this is the day that we rightly honor the unmistakable excellence, strength, and brilliance of all the dads out there, let’s not forget that it’s also a day that gives all dads license to toot our own horns a bit and revel in all of our intrinsic goodness…if only for the day. So, in an effort to honor this age-old Father’s Day tradition, let me tell you a little bit about the dazzling response that I would offer to these chance encounters and to the question that would come from those interested strangers who would approach my wife. Whenever Carrie was asked the question over those several months of her pregnancy, I would always turn to her lovingly and say, "Why in the world would they assume such a thing? You’re hardly showing, and you really can’t even tell!" Well, it wasn’t until about seven and a half months along in her pregnancy and—what I assumed was—several months of successful deposits into my brownie point account, that she turned to me with that look that only she can give and said, "Really, you can stop now. I’m halfway through my third trimester, I walk around with my hands permanently affixed to my lower back, and my stomach is HUGE!"

Pregnancy is a funny thing. For Carrie and me, coupled with the miracle, anticipation, and excitement of it all were a boatload of assumptions about what parenthood would be like. To be honest, Carrie and I were convinced that we had it all figured out and that we couldn’t be more prepared for the big day! Cole’s due date was November 3; however, we knew that he would not be born until Friday, November 7^th. This would assure that all of our weekday obligations with work and seminary would not be disturbed, would give us time to move into our new home, finish the baby’s nursery, pack our bag for the hospital, and be cozy on the couch, ready and waiting, when nature’s call came. Well, seventeen days earlier, on a Tuesday, Carrie and I were blessed with the unexpected arrival of our baby boy. It was October 21^st. Assumption #1…completely wrong! In fact, Cole is still sleeping in the same room as his snoring daddy and the plans for his nursery in a new home are still in the works.

Assumption #2…having discerned that it was both our Christian obligation and moral responsibility to be "good stewards" of God’s good creation, we assumed that our plan to be "green" parents and use only cloth diapers would be a snap. However, despite our best intentions—and 500 diapers later (give or take a few dozen)—we are knee deep in Pampers and the Milner’s cloth diapers are still sitting comfortably on a shelf in the Green Mountain Diaper company’s warehouse in Vermont. Assumption #2…just a little bit off the mark.

Assumption #3…despite the knowing words from the well-seasoned parents who crossed our paths in those crazy months of pregnancy, there is absolutely nothing in the world that could have prepared Carrie and me for the disbelief that we felt when we learned just how very wrong we were in our assumptions about how this little boy would change our lives. In fact, there are simply not words able to describe the way that we felt when we held him in our arms for the very first time.

Something happened that day, and there is absolutely no doubt in my mind that it was one of those grace-filled moments that only God can provide. But you know, isn’t it funny how all-too-often it is in those grace-filled moments that we realize just how very wrong we were about the things that we assumed to be true? Needless to say, despite our very best intentions, it turns out that our assumptions and expectations of parenthood could not have been more confused!

Expectations, misguided perceptions, and false assumptions are nothing new. From the very beginning, human beings have found ways to "get it wrong," to assume that we have the answer, or to expect that we know best, only to find out after the fact that we could not have been more incorrect.

Take for example today’s text. At first glance we might assume that this verse is just another one of those places in the New Testament that tells us something about love, but the truth is there is something more. In this text, we find words of challenge for a group of early Christians whose assumptions were undeniably problematic and whose perceptions were skewed. There were some within the group that had seemed to adopt a very different view of Christian love than that espoused by the author; others went so far as to assume that they were free from sin; still others doubted that Christ had actually come in the flesh. Despite the very best of intentions, this was a group of Christians whose assumptions were fundamentally misguided. Nevertheless, what came from the author’s pen were words of both hope and challenge. Ultimately, the aim of these words was to shed light upon God’s true intention for God’s people. Or better yet, to serve as a wake up call for an early Christian community that was consumed by the futility of its false expectations and hasty assumptions about the nature of God’s love.

The one clear message of this text is the assurance of God’s love for humanity in Christ. In fact, the issue is signaled from the very start, when the author begins his address with "beloved;" then uses the word "love" thirteen more times in just six verses. Whatever else the author had to say, first these people had to know that they were loved. Without any confusion, they were told that it was entirely by the love that God had shown to them that they were given the capability to love one another.

Sometimes the lessons learned from false expectations wears an unlikely face, as it did when theologian Megan McKenna had an encounter with some chocolate chip cookies. As she relates:

God bless Megan McKenna. Instead of hiding her own embarrassment, she has told and retold this story, perhaps as a kind of penance at the awful awareness of the racist overtones of her assumptions.^[1] Penance also at the recognition of what happens to a person whose assumptions have so grossly distorted reality.

Whether it is our false expectations about the unsuspected joys and challenges of parenthood, or the reason behind a stranger’s unwarranted assault upon what we assume is our bag of Mrs. Field’s chocolate chip cookies, let there be no mistake that, like those early Christians in our scripture reading this morning, we are a people who have been and will continue to be led astray by the assumptions that we so often presume to be true. However, there is one vital and undeniable fact that we must address regarding our affinity to make assumptions. While there are times that the false expectations that we hold prove to be no more harmful than a simple misunderstanding, there are also times when those assumptions posses the potential to ravage the foundation of our Christian faith and defile the very character of God as is shown to us in Jesus Christ!

We see this happen when a man, driven by an irrational hatred and the false assumption that his race is somehow superior to another, marches into a museum, armed with a rifle, and guns down an unsuspecting and innocent security guard. We see this when our elected officials, set apart for leadership in good faith by hopeful voters, spend their days rallying support with hateful rhetoric and false accusations, while ignoring the call that they have been given to serve the people. We see this when we turn a blind eye to our sisters and brothers around the world, across this great country, in our cities, and even our churches, who, by no fault of their own, have found themselves in hard times and are simply in need of a neighbor’s embrace. And as our scripture for today affirms, we see this most clearly when, at anytime, we fail to love our sisters and brothers as we have been called to do by a God who loves us.

So, like those early Christians who were in need of little refresher course on what it truly means to be a child of God, let us not forget that it is a need that we have still today. And as our scripture proclaims, let there me no mistake that by an unimaginable love and an incomparable grace, we too are God’s beloved children in Christ. Despite our brokenness, our false expectations, and what is often our distorted vision of reality, we may rejoice in knowing that the One who created continues to create, the One who has redeemed continues to redeem, and the One who sustains has wrapped us in everlasting arms and is holding us right now! ^[2]

So on this Father’s Day—and every day—let us not miss an opportunity to tell our fathers, our children, and our brothers and sisters, just how very much we love them. And may we the Church, the very hands and feet of Christ, find the courage to love as we have been called to love. May it be so! Amen.

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[1] Megan McKenna and Tony Caron, Keepers of the Story, (Maryknoll: Orbis Books, 1997), as quoted in a sermon by Linda Loving entitled "A Taxing Theology."
[2] Walter Brueggemann, The Message of the Psalms, (Minneapolis: Augsburg Publishing House, 1984), 29-30.