Daniel T. Hans
Second Presbyterian Church
Sermons: June 28, 2009

Liberated from Our Tyrannies
#1 "The Tyranny of the Urgent"

One of the great dangers to our interpersonal relationships, to our personal well being, and to our faith in God is letting urgent things crowd out important things. The story of Mary and Martha is a classic case study of how the urgent crowds out the important.

I

In his travels, Jesus comes to a small town where two sisters live. Invited to stop for a meal in their home, he accepts the offer. Martha, the older sister (and probably an oldest child), is driven by a strong sense of responsibility. She has a need to get things done and a need to do things rightly. The account opens with her in the kitchen rushing to prepare lunch.

And she is not alone as sister Mary is not in the kitchen helping. Mary is out in the living room just sitting and listening to Jesus. Martha bursts into the room and in her "poor me" voice complains:

Lord, haven’t you noticed that while I have been out in the kitchen slaving away, Mary has been just sitting here. She hasn’t so much as lifted a finger to help! Tell her to get in the kitchen and help me!

Martha concludes her outburst with the unspoken "or else". Or else this urgent meal won’t get on the table!

I don’t know about you but I like Martha. In fact I’m a lot like her. I am one of the most impatient people I know. Like Martha, I am driven by the demands of the urgent. Immediacy is my greatest expectation. For a long time I have wondered why I am this way. Recently, in some research I came across this discovery. The word now appears in the Bible 190 times, and it is usually ascribed to God. The word wait appears in the Bible only 74 times and it is usually ascribed to people. Now I know why I’m so impatient. It’s because I read the Bible and try to be so godly. What other explanation could there be! Despite the emphasis in the Bible on now, or on urgency, Jesus won’t let us Marthas off the hook so easily.

At this point in the story, we might expect the following response from Jesus: You’re right, Martha. Mary has been remiss in her duties. (Then turning to Mary, Jesus might say: You really should be in the kitchen helping your sister. We can talk anytime but you need to help with lunch right now.)

Instead Jesus says:

Martha, Martha! You are anxious and uptight about the things you see as so urgent. One thing is needful. A sandwich is fine for lunch.

I want you to look at Mary. She has chosen to let go of the urgent in order to do the important. Rather than telling Mary to join you in the kitchen, I should be telling you to join her here in the living room to spend time with me.

We need to recognize that both sisters respond to Jesus’ presence in ways that reflect who they are. Martha is a "Type A" who has to be active, doing things for others. Although she complains about it she thrives on pressure. Mary is the passive one who wants to sit and be with others. She desires to experience the moment rather than conquer the day.

Jesus’ rebuke of Martha is not a slam on activity or a jab at doing. Rather, it’s a call for balance and priority in life. We need the Marthas and their gift for serving, their desire to do. Someone has to prepare the meal - even if it is only sandwiches. We need the go-getters but the go-getters need more in their lives than this drive to accomplish. Martha is so busy with activity for Jesus that she can’t be still to be with Jesus. One of my favorite Bible verses is a verse that all of us Marthas need to remember: "Be still and know that I am God." (Psalm 46)

II

This is where we live – between Martha and Mary – in the tension of being pulled between two pursuits, each of which has merit – the tension between doing and being: painting a room for our spouse vs. spending time with our spouse, fixing a toy for our child vs. playing with that toy with our child, making a meal for a sad friend vs. spending time with that friend, telling a new church member about an upcoming church activity vs. inviting that new member to join us for lunch after church, rushing off in the morning to do something in the name of God vs. first spending time in prayer with God.

Like Martha, we forfeit the important in response to the urgent. The explanation for this tendency is simple: Responding to the urgent offers an immediate feeling of accomplishment; whereas time and energy given to the important seldom produce immediate and measurable results – even though the latter effort can affect the direction and outcome of a life. While the immediate and tangible can satisfy our need to achieve, the outcome is only temporary and brings little of lasting value to our relationships and to our souls.

An example of someone who allowed the urgent to control the important is a dentist I know. For years, he wanted to go to Honduras with us on our medical/dental mission trip but felt he could not do so because of the urgency of keeping his office open. Finally, he took a risk and went just one time. Well, that one time to Honduras has turned into eight times as he no longer allows himself to be tyrannized by the urgent at the expense of the important.

The tyranny of the urgent is portrayed by Swiss psychiatrist Paul Tournier in his book Fatigue and Modern Life:

The chief end and greatest happiness for a person is to know God. Fatigue is often the result of getting one’s priorities backward and allowing less important things to crowd out our daily times with the Lord. A life that has its priorities right is one in which the Lord really does come first. A life guided by God and one which expresses itself in a unified way requires that a great many things be ordered and others sacrificed.

One of the givens I recognize as I talk with you this morning is that we are busy people. And there is no way this side of the grave we are going to stop being busy. Therefore, we need to order our lives so that we are busy with important things, transforming things, lasting things.

III

Few important endeavors in our busy lives are undermined more by the tyranny of urgent than the duties of being a parent and grandparent. One of the great dangers every parent and grandparent faces is letting the urgent crowd out the important. The Letter to the Ephesians minces no words in declaring:

Do not provoke your children to anger but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. (6:4)

The morning he turned 16, Jake looked out at the driveway and did not see the car he had hoped would be there for him. He spoke to his dad about his disappointment. His dad reminded him about the length of his hair, his neglect of his Bible reading and the sad state of his school grades. Jake got busy on these areas. At the end of the next grading period he approached his dad again about the car. He had a report card that showed marked improvement. But his dad shook his head and commented again about his hair being too long. Jake protested reminding his dad that he had been reading the Bible and noticed that Jesus had long hair. His dad replied, "You keep reading the Bible, son, and you’ll also find that Jesus walked everywhere he went." Such an encounter would be pretty-provoking to a 16-year-old. However, the provocation of which the Bible warns is far more than getting outwitted by your old man.

Our children are provoked to angry resentment when we, parents, become so preoccupied with the urgency of doing things for them that we neglect the importance of being with them. Mistakenly, we think that our families want more from us when what they really want is more of us. The following is a portion of a note written to his parents by a teenager who had run away and was preparing to return home:

What I want to say is that when I do get home I hope that when we’ve finished dinner that night and we are all there at the table, we’ll stay there for a while and just look at each other and realize for just a little while that nothing is more important than the fact that we’re together. That’s what I want.

There isn’t a parent among us who wouldn’t say "Amen" to the boy’s feeling that nothing is more important than being together. However, the time spent sitting around the table with a teenager or the time spent playing nonsensical games with a toddler seems so unproductive, so unimportant, compared to all the pressing demands upon us.

Maybe the problem lies in our definition of what is important. What could be more important than building confidence in the lives God has entrusted into our care? What could be more valuable than giving a child our love, not because of anything she does but simply because she is? I’m not talking about spending vast amounts of time in great endeavors. It’s the spending of time together that’s important even if nothing tangible is accomplished and even if some tangible things must be sacrificed. What did Mary accomplish in her time sitting with Jesus? Nothing grand or immediate yet certainly something transforming and lasting.

Mother Teresa said that our mission as Christians must start with our own family then radiate out to the larger human family. With respect to our own family, Teresa said: "Don’t look for big things to do for each other. Do small things with each other." While it might seem small and insignificant at the moment, simply being with our kids is the truly important and lasting endeavor. This holds true for all relationships even our relationship with God.

IV

Let me repeat what I said at the outset of this sermon: One of the great dangers to our interpersonal relationships, to our personal well being, and to our faith in God is letting urgent things crowd out important things. The great danger to any of us who have promised to raise our children in the ways of Jesus Christ is letting the urgent crowd out the important. No one has said this better than singer, story-teller Harry Chapin in his song Cat’s in the Cradle. Chapin speaks to those of us who have more Martha in us than Mary as we allow the urgent to crowd out the important.

My child arrived just the other day; he came to the world in the usual way.
But there were planes to catch and bills to pay; he learned to walk while I was away.
And he was talkin’ fore I knew it and as he grew he’d say, "I’m gonna be like you, Dad, you know I’m gonna be like you."

And the cat’s in the cradle and the silver spoon, little boy blue and the man in the moon.
"When you comin’ home, Dad?" "I don’t know when, but we’ll get together then.
You know we’ll have a good time then."

My son turned ten just the other day; he said, "Thanks for the ball, Dad, come on, let’s play. Can you teach me to throw?" I said, "Not today. I got a lot to do." He said, "That’s OK." And he walked away but his smile never dimmed. And said, "I’m gonna be like him, yeah, you know I’m gonna be like him."

And the cat’s in the cradle and the silver spoon, little boy blue and the man in the moon.
"When you comin’ home, Dad?" "I don’t know when, but we’ll get together then.
You know we’ll have a good time then."

Well he came home from college just the other day, so much like a man I just had to say, "Son, I’m proud of you, can’t you sit for a while?" He shook his head and said with a smile, "What I’d really like, Dad, is to borrow the car keys. See you later. Can I have them please?"

And the cat’s in the cradle and the silver spoon, little boy blue and the man in the moon.
"When you comin’ home, Son?" "I don’t know when, but we’ll get together then.
You know we’ll have a good time then."

I’ve long since retired. My son’s moved away. I called him up just the other day. I said, "I’d like to see you if you don’t mind." He said, "I’d love to, Dad, if I can find the time. You see, my new job’s a hassle and the kids have the flu. But it’s sure nice talking to you, Dad. It’s been sure nice talking to you."

And as I hung up the phone it occurred to me – He’s grown up just like me.
My boy was just like me.

And the cat’s in the cradle and the silver spoon, little boy blue and the man in the moon.
"When you comin’ home, Son?" "I don’t know when, but we’ll get together then.
You know we’ll have a good time then."

Jesus said,

Martha, Martha, you are anxious and troubled about all the urgent things. One thing is needful. One thing is truly important.