The Seven Stages of Parents of Faith

Stage 1: Wondering and Imagining

During the waiting process (of adoption and/or pregnancy), adults wonder what it will be like to be parents and to have a child join them. It’s the Advent time of parenting. Many parents see this as a sacred experience, spending time in wonder and prayer. (Pre-Birth)

Stage 2: Caring and Nurturing

During the first two years of a child’s life, parents meet the child’s needs and provide great care and nurture, which lays the foundation for spiritual formation. By giving young children a lot of faith experiences at home an away from home, children develop the critical foundation they need for their faith journey. (Birth to 2 years)

Stage 3: Testing and Treasuring

When children begin to resist and explore limits, parents become tested themselves. How will they respond to these displays of power while treasuring their child from a faith perspective? Parents can talk with children about God, pray with them, take them to worship services, introduce children to people of faith, and love their children deeply while setting clear boundaries, all what children need for their faith journey. (2 to 5 years)

Stage 4: Supporting and Strengthening

During the elementary-school years, parents support their child’s spiritual and overall development, strengthening ties to other people and to important institutions, such as church and school. When parents pray, eat together as a family, attend worship services, and have conversations about faith, they help strengthen their child’s faith journey. (6 to 10 years)

Stage 5: Experimenting and Encouraging

While young adolescents experiment with different identities, parents discover that they, too, need to experiment with new ways to interact with their young adolescent while encouraging him or her to develop a personal faith. Parents continue to model their faith by attending worship services regularly, doing service projects, praying, reading scripture, and talking about faith. (11 to 14 years)

Stage 6: Guiding and Questioning

High-school-age young people need parents who help them make sense of their world and their future. While older teenagers question various aspects of faith, parents need to question how they can continue to model and talk about faith issues that bring them closer to their teenager rather than drive them apart. Parents need to continue showing that their faith matters to them by talking about it, attending worship services, and doing other faith practices, such as prayer and meditation. (15 to 18 years)

Stage 7: Launching and Fostering

As young adults leave home and find their way in the world, they need parents who remain connected to them while letting them go. Parents continue to serve as faith models for their young adults, providing a safe place for young adults to grapple with faith issues. When parents have a strong religious commitment (meaning they attend worship services regularly and talk about the importance of their faith), the more likely young adults will find a religious grounding. (19 to 29 years)